Hi, guys! Oh... that might be my baby. [Listens] I just put him down for a nap. I had a baby! Four months ago, almost exactly. And it's amazing, right? Bodies are amazing! They're miracles! Look what we can do!
And now my body is a little bigger than it was before. And so I want to re-demonstrate the truth that who we really are is not our bodies. I mean it's part... It's one part of the three-part harmony. Right? It is the packaging. And it's SO miraculous and wonderful to have the packaging, but if you think that how much you weigh is an indicator of how valuable or important you are as a person, it's not. You are a valuable, important, beautiful human being WHATEVER YOU LOOK LIKE. If you want to treat this machine with more reverence, then by all means! Be my guest! Hallelujah! Blessed be! But don't wait until you lose that weight to think that you are good enough or just right. Because that's backwards.
And I am going to weigh myself on camera because I want to show you that I'm not afraid of making myself vulnerable. You ready? Okay here we go. Oof. It's gonna be a lot.
There you have it! I hope this helps you on your journey. Evy Wallace, signing out!
Someone I Was Mean To is ANOTHER wild idea for a variety show, and guess what?! Today it transformed from idea real to corporal real! Neato, right? I've just wrapped up filming! I ended up deciding not to talk about Josh, as I originally thought I would, but it all unfolded as it needed to, as all things (ultimately) do.
Here's the gist: one human (me, in this case) publicly admitting on record that they/ I behaved in a way they/I wasn't proud of. Admitting fault is not exactly a comfortable place to be, so maybe it will be easier to start by watching someone else do it. Then YOU can take your own turn! #someoneiwasmeanto
It's not easy, or comfortable, but it's TOTALLY worth it. Getting vulnerable and opening up is how we can change the world! Well, it's ONE avenue, anyway...
Here's the pitch
I'm thinking a variety show segment called Someone I was Mean To. (NOT Someone Who Was Mean To ME, right? Got it?) I'm thinking a one minute video (or more, if you'd like) of a solo person talking to the camera. A phone camera or computer camera would be fine. (Read: quarantine-friendly!) The solo person is talking to/ addressing someone they've been mean to and fessing up. Maybe it's an apology, maybe it's just an acknowledgement, but either way it's golden vulnerability. You get me? The aggrieved party doesn't even have to BE there. All we'd need is a phone and a willingness to be vulnerable!
OR... We could step it up a notch! We could reach out to the person we were mean to, get their permission, and record the conversation between us! I bet there wouldn't be a dry eye in the house! Of course, the value of our vulnerability isn't dependent on the other party's response. They don't have to forgive us in order for the exercise to "work."
I know this could be amazing because I couldn't get through saying the title of the segment without breaking down in tears.
I sure know who I was mean to, and his name was Josh. It was at Lakewood Elementary School in California's Central Valley in the late 80s, and Josh had the audacity to be poor. I was remembering the ways in which we as a group (which includes me as an individual, follower though I was) were astonishingly cruel. I don't feel good about that at all when I think of it.. so instead of trying to suppress that icky feeling and looking away from it, what if i looked it straight in the eye and said, "I'm really sorry."
Not everything I said to Josh was cruel. I remember making some boundaries with him later at sixth grade camp, where the camp rule was that you HAD to dance with the square dancing partner you got matched with. I got matched with Josh, and there was nothing that was going to make me feel okay about his hands touching my body, so I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't dance with him. The administration brought me to a back office and explained to me that I was on "step 1" of disciplinary action and that I was being exceptionally hurtful and disrespectful etc etc etc. But EYE (emphasis mine) remembered my dad telling me in no uncertain terms that my body was all mine and if anyone ever, ever EVER wanted to do something to my body that I didn't want them to do, I had the absolute, fundamental, indisputable right to say NO.
That's all to say, I won't be apologizing for making boundaries. But I will be apologizing for the general meanness with which we all treated him. If (when!) I DO film it, I'll totally post it on my Youtube page, I promise. You should join me!
Because can you imagine, dear one, how amazing it would be if some of my friends also recorded a short, fully vulnerable confessional (of sorts)? And can you imagine how amazing it would be if our neighbors also were willing to admit that they'd been mean to someone once, and that they were sorry about it? I mean... what if our whole town did it? What about the whole world?
Food for thought.
I love my body. Do you love yours? You can! You just... love it. As is.